Talking to Your Kids About the News

I grew up in the eighties, when the news was “waawaawaa” and the most controversial thing I can recall watching on tv was “The Facts of Life”. Today, our children are exposed to so much more than we were, especially on the evening news.

I remember wishing my mother would change the channel on the occasions when she had the tv on during dinner because all my step father wanted to watch at that hour was the news, and now kids are taking in every salacious detail that the anchors give of gruesome crimes and stories that you would have to be 17 in order to view on a movie screen because the news has been so sensationalized that it’s more ‘entertainment’ than information.

Your kids do need to be aware of what is going on in the world…

…but the truth is that even once formerly reputable news shows are now a part of the ratings game and because of that they are inclined to tell the news stories that will gather the most viewers. Viewers are far more interested in hearing about news stories that mirror horror movies than stories about how Japan is handling the rebuilding of their nation or how local government is using funds for education-unless, of course, there is a political agenda attached-then you will surely hear about it.

Do we need to demand less “Jersey Shore”-ism in our news reports? Sure. In the mean time, we need to make sure that our kids understand what they are seeing and hearing. Terrible things happen, but watching today’s news reports you would think that only terrible and tragic things happen. Imagine what that’s like for a child that doesn’t have the life experience to know any better.

You may not think that your children are ready for some topics, but if they are over hearing the news while you’re watching it, they are ready.

Lucky for parents, kids are sponges for information. The down side of that is that if you aren’t talking to them about what they are absorbing, then you really aren’t helping to shape their understanding and that can be very scary for your kids. Many of the news stories on tv will make you squirm even in a room full of adults, but personal discomfort is no excuse for avoiding topics with your kids. Remember, these are your kids, you are the closest person in their heart and you are their first line of defense to everything else. Don’t shy away from that responsibility, instead, step up to it with confidence. Avoid the baby talk and cutesy names and just tell it like it is. You’ll be okay and so will your kids.

Tips for talking about tough subjects:

Don’t over react – A “matter of fact with love” is the best approach to uncomfortable topics. Frantic, nervous, squeamish or angry reactions will overshadow any words you say so save your “freak out face” for after the talk when you’re alone.
Breathe – Take a second or two and just breathe and gather your thoughts.
Be honest – There’s no reason to go into depth with your child unless they want to know more. Even then, know your boundaries and make sure that they are asking because they really are curious as opposed to them asking just to see you squirm. Kids have a sense of humor, too
Don’t lecture – Most topics can be explained in a couple of sentences.
Don’t threaten – Telling your child that you are sure that someone’s parents must really be disappointed in their choices gets your point across with out making your child feel threatened.
Ask – I always end an explanation with , “Do you have any other questions?” and if they do, I oblige.
Move on – There’s no reason to harp on any subject-it will come up again and you can use that as another opportunity to discuss it if you feel like more needs to be said.

In addition to helping your child understand the world and words around him/her, another two benefits you get from talking to your kids about tough subjects are:

Trust – When you are honest and not judgmental with your kids about these topics, you open the door for them to come and talk to you in the future when they have questions about other topics. This is how to talk so kids will listen.
Desensitizing – Take the power back from the ‘crazy stories’ kid on the playground. When you tell your kids the truth and explain to them the facts, your children aren’t going to find sensational stories buzzing around the playground interesting, unlike a child that has no idea about the topic.

Explaining what your kids are seeing and hearing all around them is important because kids will draw their own conclusions with bits and pieces of things that they hear that can make them feel scared, anxious and in danger when they aren’t. Everyday is an opportunity to talk to your kids. A sentence here and there goes a long way and before you realize it, both you and your kids will be a lot more comfortable talking about even uncomfortable things together.